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Color & Kids - Heritage part of families' lives
Date: February 13, 2009
Middle and high school were confusing years for Chris White.
The same can be said of many students during those times. Teenagers' bodies are changing, and they are trying to figure out who they are and what they want to be. White, now 25, went through all that, too.
But on top of the normal teenage angst, White struggled with another aspect of his identity: race. If his mother was white and his father was black, what did that make him?
"I found out very quickly in high school that half white means you are black. That was probably the hardest thing for me -- just finding my place as far as where I fit in. Once I hit 18, I realized I didn't really need to identify myself as white or black. I just needed to identify myself as Chris and go from there," said White of Tarboro.
As interracial relationships and marriages have increased, so have the number of biracial or multiracial children born in them, said Susan Graham, executive director of Project Race, an advocacy group in Los Banos, Calif.
In July 2007, an estimated 4.8 million Americans belonged to two or more races, up from about 3.9 million in 2000, according to the U.S. Census Bureau Web site. There were an estimated 100,000 biracial or multiracial people in 2007 in North Carolina.
How society and multiracial people handle their identity continues to be less defined, Graham said.
"When we are talking about identity, it is so individual that it is hard to make a broad statement about how things have changed for everyone, because they haven't. They are different for everyone," Graham said.
Being a multiracial family has not been a problem for the Sokalskis of Rocky Mount. Christie, who is white, and Peter, who is Korean, have been married for 10 years and have three sons: Ben, Jacob and Sam.
Going into the marriage, the couple rarely discussed their children as being different because of their ethnicity, Peter Sokalski said.
"The kids have never really asked any questions about it up to this point. ... It has just never been an issue, and I have never really given thought to trying to raise the boys as far as saying, 'Hey, you guys are dif-ferent,'" Peter Sokalski said.
Aside from the occasional odd look from someone who doesn't know Christie Sokalski when she is alone with the boys, even the differences in their appearances have never posed problems.
"Sometimes people assume they are adopted, which I think is funny because to me they look mixed. But people are always asking me if they are my kids," Christie Sokalski said.
When Tami and Leonard Foster had their daughters, Brianna and Brittany, race was an issue they discussed, but it wasn't one that worried them. The couple decided that they would raise their daughters as black, even though Tami Foster is white.
"The girls know that we consider them to be black if anybody asks. Whenever we fill out any paperwork or forms, it does not say biracial or mixed or anything like that. ... For all purposes and intents of the society that we live in, they will never be considered white. They will always be considered black, because they have a little bit of the black race in them," said Tami Foster of Rocky Mount.
When it comes to the girls learning about their heritage, Foster wants them to know both sides of their family and appreciate the different traditions. The fact that the two families are different races doesn't matter, she said.
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Since his parents divorced when White was young and his mom retained custody, the white side of his family had the most influence on his personality. For that reason, even though he looks more black than white, he identifies more with the latter race.
Conversely, most of his friends in high school were black.
"I don't know if it was I identified with them more, because generally we weren't into the same stuff. But I was more easily accepted on that side, it felt like. I didn't feel like I had to prove anything when I was around the black guys in the class. ... I didn't feel like I had the same level of acceptance when I was with the white guys in class, even though we probably had more in common," White said.
The issues facing multiracial children have been highlighted in recent years by publicity surrounding well-known Americans with a mixed racial background, including Derek Jeter, Halle Berry, Tiger Woods, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and President Barack Obama, Graham said.
Figuring out their identity and having others let them embrace it are some of the biggest challenges multiracial children face, Graham said. The 2000 Census was the first time people had the option of checking more than one box when identifying their race. Many schools and local and state governments still do not offer the option.
In spite of that, being multiracial is not something to fear when having children, Graham said.
"People think everybody excludes them. I have not found that to be true. I have found just the opposite, that they are able to go between races and be very fluid and have a lot of friends of different races because they are themselves of different races," Graham said. "I don't think they feel excluded or denied. I am sure there are some who, for whatever reason, do, but overall, I have found that they know who they are."
Being a bridge between two races was pretty close to the simple explanation Christy and Kenney Rue gave their son, Braydon, about his mixed heritage. The 4-year-old asked why his mom's white skin and his dad's black were different from that of him and his baby sister, Makenna.
"We put our hands out. We put mine on one side and Kenney's on the other, and we put Braydon's in between and said, 'Look you are in between us.' He thought that was pretty cool," Christy Rue said.
Reprinted from Rocky Mount Telegram, February 13, 2009
© 2009 by Rocky Mount Telegram
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